


Kintsukuroi

by inferablefiend



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Death, Ending of the game, F/M, Funeral, Shepard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:15:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inferablefiend/pseuds/inferablefiend
Summary: (n.) (v.phr) "to repair with gold"; the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer and understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally part of the second chapter to Dance Me to the End of Love, but I decided to make it a one-shot. There could perhaps be more of Garrus and his krogan daughter in the future if the mood strikes me. Hope you enjoy it.

The smell of bleach and medicine assaulted his nostrils. Maybe breathing out his mouth would help, but  _ damnit _ , he could taste it. The smell imprinted itself in him, made him its home. It curled up in his lungs, staying for long haul. Indefinite. No lease signed. Seeing her lay still in the bed with wires attached to every bit of skin that was protected by her ruined armor, she looked so small. Charred and small.

 

How they found her were incomprehensible memories stored in the back of his mind. Garrus tried to conjure up the joy he felt when they announced they had found her. He tried to push away the image of her bloody, broken body as they removed her from the debris of the Citadel to  _ Normandy's _ med-bay. Chakwas was clear she didn't have the tools to help Shepard the way she needed help, but Garrus clearly remembered his panic. The pure terror in his voice when she told him this. The begging. Eventually, she relented. Lights were too bright at this point. As much as he tried to remember the rest, it failed to come to him.

 

_ So goddamned small _

 

His own wounds didn't matter. Despite the throbbing pain in his back and the almost blinding pain in his keel, he stayed by her side. Nothing in the world, even a second batch of Reapers, could tear him away.

 

Two days ago, they were discussing adopting a krogan child. Three days ago, he held her as she fell back into a restless slumber. Her flesh feeling incredibly hot against his. Would that come again? Could they revive her from the coma she fell into?

 

Could he rise from the abyss he felt was engulfing him?

 

Garrus stood, his talons holding onto Shepard’s limp hand. “Tell me doc, please tell me she’ll make it through.”

 

Chakwas’ fingers gripped the datapad tighter. He noticed how her knuckles whitened, how her mouth turned down slightly in the corners. “She’s barely holding on. It’s torture to keep her alive in this state, Garrus,” the doctor said, eyes looking anywhere but him.

Garrus dropped her hand and turned back to her. His shoulders set against the barrage of questions from Chakwas. The questions bounced off of him like harmless bullets. Tears threatened to fall as he fell by her bedside, burrowing his face into her still body. 

 

“I can’t. I can’t be the one who decides that,” he said in answer to her. His head was laid on her chest gently, listening desperately for her heartbeat. There was none. It looked like he wouldn’t have to decide.

 

*

 

Days of countless drinking to rid himself of the pain in his head only rendered him helpless when they laid her in the ground. A six foot long coffin being buried in a six foot deep trench. These humans and their silly ways. 

 

“You’re being a dumbass,” Jack said, coming up beside him.

Garrus didn’t bother answering, only taking another sip from the flask in his talons. “She was loved by more than just you. She was treasured by this entire galaxy and yet you’re the only one who acts like he lost her.” He looked at her. “Stop mourning. You know that’s not what she would want.” 

 

Jack stepped forward, taking the first seat offered to her. The old  _ Normandy  _ crew were gathered around the small fire. He knew she was right. Shepard was a lot more than his love. She was the hero of the galaxy, selflessly giving herself. He put the flask away, clearing his throat as he joined his crewmates.

 

“The first time I met Shepard, I accused her of judging me based on my disease. Open mouth, insert foot here,” Joker was saying, a grin on his face. Edi leaned against him, mechanical eyes reflecting the fire.

 

Laughter travelled around the group and each person opened up with their favorite story of Shepard. Most of the stories had Shepard getting drunk, pulling laughter from most of them. Tears glistened on their faces, hands were clutched in one another’s. 

 

Liara grabbed his, giving it a reassuring squeeze when it came to his turn. The only thing he could think of… “We wanted to adopt a krogan child,” he began, looking at Grunt and Wrex. “She always spoke so highly of everyone. Always thinking the best before wanting to know the worst.” His voice caught, a lump appearing in his throat. He struggled to continue to speak. “Wrex, I’d like to do that. Adopt a krogan child.”

 

Wrex nodded, stoically silent. Perhaps not wanting to show emotion. Though Garrus thought he caught the glimmer of tears in the corner of the krogan’s eyes.

 

The crewmates continued on like that for the rest of the night. Embers gave off little warmth as each of them got up to go back to their tents, temporarily forgetting the sadness in death.

 

*

Garrus stood in the well-lit, warm room holding a newborn krogan child in his arms. As big as the adults were, the babies were absolutely tiny. She gripped onto his talon, bringing it into her mouth, sucking on it until she was asleep.

 

“You could almost say we’re overpopulating,” Wrex said with a soft laugh. “All kinds of people come and adopt a krogan child. It’s amazing to see these children get homes with those I-” His words were cut off with a wet cough. He pressed a hand to his mouth, turning his massive head away from Garrus.

 

“Shepard would love this,” Garrus said, gently bumping Wrex with his shoulder. “She’d want us to continue on as if she never died. As if she was still here with us.You know she’s watching us.” He jiggled the child slowly, keeping her sleeping.

 

“Have you thought of a name?” Wrex peered over Garrus’ arms.

 

“Kintsukuori. Kin for short. It’s an old Japanese practice of piecing together broken pottery with gold. With her, I’m fixing myself. Starting over. Living the life Shepard deserved to live with me.” Garrus smiled, mandibles twitching. Tears fell from the corners of his eyes. “I miss her.”

  
Garrus nodded to Wrex, and made his way back to the ship that had brought him. His sister and father were eagerly awaiting the newest family member. 


End file.
